Sandpaper is a great abrasive for smoothing down rough surfaces like wooden or metal products. Enough friction created with the sanding motion and before long the surface is splinter-proof. Our culture today seems to believe as demonstrated by various actions that if you approach situations with abrasiveness then you will come out the winner. Certainly, we can see that this approach does quite the opposite when it comes to working through resolutions with different perspectives and smoothing relationships. Sanding creates friction, creates heat. In our relationships abrasiveness creates heat, creates division. How can we change these sorrowful results?
Sometimes the people we are most challenged with are also the ones we love most. Maybe we have the same disagreements and never seem to come to a solution. Maybe there is a difference in the belief of a certain principle that we live with that creates conflict.
Splintered relationships and differences in perspectives are best smoothed out with a disposition of love & understanding. What can we do to eliminate emotional and hurtful outbursts? Start with love and techniques to squash the emotions and anger such as:
· Restraint, which by the way is a virtue, can and should be applied when listening to someone with a seemingly opposing perspective. Have restraint in immediately building a rebuttal that could escalate abrasive responses and be open to
· Genuinely listening to the other person. This demonstrates respect, both for them and for yourself, which is the foundation for better engagement and better relationships.
· Repeat their comments in your own words to confirm that you clearly understand what they are saying. Too often we hear what we think is something we object to and we do not receive the entire message or their entire meaning. The snippet approach often leaves much out and feeds dissension. Repeating their comments in our own words to confirm our understanding requires us to listen attentively.
· Be on the offensive! Lead the conversation with Love. Loving them even if you do not like them or like discussing the topic with them is the right disposition.
Consider this. Certainly, no one likes to be verbally or hurtfully attacked. Imagine for a moment that you are in a heated conversation with someone. Things are about to be said that will be regretful later when the burner is turned down. Suddenly you experience warm loving arms wrapping around you from behind. Jesus in His incredible compassionate and loving way embraces you and immediately makes you feel safe and secure.
But then with His hands holding your hands, He opens your arms wide for you to share His embrace with your adversary. Love is needed. His love, to bring you both together in the best possible solution. Jesus calls us to love our neighbor and embrace each other in a special embrace.
Any time you have a tense engagement with someone remember this approach but even more remember this vision and feeling and let the dear Lord embrace you and your counterpart to bring you together in love. God's incredible and unconditional love permeating through our body and soul is like no other.
Pray to Jesus and remember, “Where two or more are gathered together in my name, there am I", says the Lord. That is how we can Shine Like the Son. God bless you.
