Contemplate - What is the hardest thing you have ever done?

What is the hardest thing you have ever done?  Did you climb a mountain?  Did you take on a project with a short deadline and you did not want to disappoint?  Did you have to come clean with a problem you caused someone?  Maybe it was saying good bye to someone you care for.  How about a surgery ahead?

For me, it is always of interest to hear someone’s story of a challenge and the victory or maybe even the failure they experienced.  Typically, there was an act of courage of some type that was the amazing part of the story.  Sometimes it is not the victory that is so inspirational as the gritting of the teeth courage that it took to get there. 

I think for me one of the hardest things that I have done is to forgive.  Can you relate?  In the long run I found unforgiveness was difficult because I was carrying this heavy burden.  I wasn’t always conscious of the heaviness until I was reminded of the incident or the people involved that brought me the pain.   I never thought of myself as a person who could or would carry a grudge but that disheartening memory and pain would pop up and, ouch! 

Avoidance is something that became a part of my disposition.  I would avoid meeting them, seeing them, or talking about them.  I wouldn’t disparage them in a conversation but I would be quick to turn to another topic, internally grumbling to myself.  After all, how could I forgive them for what they did in a very personal weak situation?  You could have called me an ostrich with my head in the sand.

I do prefer to focus on the positive so just ignoring and turning away from the negative was my solution.  That was good enough right?  I know the Our Father says, “…forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  So, turning away was my answer.

I heard a homily one time that caused me to think more about forgiveness.  He talked about the one who couldn’t forgive was truly the one carrying the burden.  Sometimes the offender doesn’t even know they have trespassed against us.  The homilist went directly after Peter’s question “How many times must I forgive, seven times?” And then onto the Lord response to Peter, “forgive not just seven times, but seventy times seven.” (Mt 18:22)

I had heard that Scripture so many times before but that time it hit me like a lightning bolt.  Every time I heard their name or saw them I immediately needed to say to myself that I forgive them.  Every time, even if it had to be seventy times seven to find peace.  It didn’t take that many times to find real forgiveness and peace.  The more I thought it and said it to myself the freer I began to feel. 

Then one of them died.  As I sat at their Remembrance Ceremony and heard the stories from others of how that person had been so incredible to them in their lives I began to feel all the more sorrowful and embarrassed.  What did I miss through all the time I had felt angry and unforgiving?  I likely missed out on their goodness by blocking it out with my angry hardened wall. 

God’s Mercy and Forgiveness are two incredible gifts to us that He looks for us to share with others as well.  Let us pray for the strength, understanding and wisdom to be always forgiving and to pray for those who offend us. 

Can I be offended today?  Who can’t, however I now think of Jesus on the Cross when He said to God the Father, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.”  (Luke 23:34) I pray that we all do the hard thing and always have a forgiving heart that will free us into a disposition of Peace and Love that only the Lord can provide.  Help Me Lord to forgive, for I Need YOU. 

Let us Shine Like the Son reflecting His Mercy, Forgiveness and Love.  God bless you.